I wasn't going to blog today, because honestly,
I felt like I couldn't possibly think of anything positive to say.
Today was one of the most difficult mommy days I've had to date.
Nothing tragic happened....
no one got their finger chopped off...
we didn't have to go to the ER...
my kids are sleeping in their beds as I type.
Yes, they do have awful colds,
and I have a doosy of a cold myself...
but we are home...
So quite honestly, I feel selfish even typing this post.
I've been praying for so many sick kids,
and mommies in need of some extra special blessing.
I couldn't even bring myself to ask for prayer today except to my husband and mom because I felt like my issues weren't "big enough".
And then tonight, I was reading blogs...
and I just broke down in tears that I had been holding back all day.
I had been giving myself the "pep talk" all day,
and it never seemed to help...
You know the one I'm talking about....
"At least my kids are this,
at least I have that,
it could be so much worse,
thank you Lord that I am this"....
The pep talk never worked today,
it couldn't cheer me up.
It didn't get me out of my funk,
I still yelled far too much,
I let the circumstances of the day get me completely overwhelmed,
and I failed the two little ones who pretty much completely depend on me.
All I could do was wallow in my pity,
feel sorry for myself,
complain about how hard this day had been,
and cry out for help.
It took three hours of silence
(my kids went to bed at 6:00 tonight...because boy did they need it, and it's nearly 10:00),
for my "pep talks" to finally sink in.
It took reading blogs and turning outward and praying for others to finally stop feeling sorry for myself...
and to thank the Lord for the precious little blessings that are fast asleep in their beds...
to Praise Him that I have another chance to do a whole lot better at mothering tomorrow....
to remember that EVERYONE has rediculously hard days like this,
and that with His Grace,
we get to start all over again tomorrow.
So I pray...
with my fragmented writing,
and my discombobulated and frazzled thoughts,
I could do better job tomorrow.
I'm extra thankful for grace and forgiveness on days like this.
Mothering is HARD...
the hardest job I've been given to date.
I guess that's why it takes a whole lot more prayer than anything else I've been given to date.