Goodbye Papa

Dear Sid,
 I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, but really I don't think we ever are.  God saw fit to call you home to heaven on January 7th, 2014, after 70 years here on this earth.  Now we are trying to move forward without you.  I know that you are so very happy, basking in the presence of the Lord.  No more frustration over not being able to hear people, you can now hear perfectly, and do everything you want to do :)  I'm happy for that, I really am.  It's just that we miss you so much, that is the hard part.  Trying to find a new "normal" without you, that is what is hard.  I'm trying not to focus on the fact that I wasn't ready for Matt and I to not have a dad in our lives, and for my kids to not have a grandpa.  I'm trying not to focus on the fact that this new baby will never know either of the two amazing men who gave life to both Matt and I.  Instead I'm trying to focus on the time we did get to spend with you, and be grateful for that.  We have so many good memories that we can focus on.



I'm going to miss your mischievous grin a lot.  Sundays will never quite be the same. I will forever see you in church passing out candy hearts to all the kids. My whole family is really going to miss having lunch with you after church, we have oh so enjoyed that over the past several years.  I'll miss you whenever I go over to mom's house... I'll keep expect to see you puttering in the garden, or cracking walnuts, or sitting in your chair... and it just won't seem the same without you. Again, it's hard finding a new "normal". 

You were always out for a laugh :)

 I am so very grateful for what you taught to Matt. I get to see the things you taught him played out in our own family.  You taught him how to love his wife well.... fiercely and faithfully, and with a lifetime of dedication.  You taught him a strong work ethic, and how to work tirelessly to provide for his family and keep a high- maintenance house and yard going strong :)  You taught him (and me) a whole lot about generosity and what it means to give selflessly and faithfully. 



You taught me some cool garden tricks.  Whenever you came to our house you always wanted to see how my garden was doing.  You loved to talk "garden" with me when you saw me as well :)  I'm pretty sure you and my dad are up in heaven now tending to one amazing garden, as he could make anything grow beautiful himself.

I'm grateful that I got to say goodbye and tell you I loved you before you left... that all of your family did.  I'm grateful that it was a peaceful and painless goodbye, and that we could be with you and usher you into the arms of Jesus.  We will see you again someday Dad, and until then, we will always miss you.  Thank you for he legacy you left here on earth.




Love, Jess

p.s. I took those photos of Sid and Marlene back in late November for them for Christmas.  So glad I did... we will always treasure them. The last two pictures are from some of the last moments we got to spend with him in the hospital.

Comments

Teresa DiMillo said…
Jess, this is absolutely beautiful. I'm sobbing like a baby reading your sweet letter to Sid. I only was fortunate enough to meet him a few times, but he was such a sweet man. The legacy he left is his true testimony. How lucky you all are to have been able to have such closure, the kind you weren't able to have with your own dad. God is so good all the time. Love you, friend!
BC said…
Yes he will forever be missed. My kids were heartbroken but also agreed that he is up in Heaven in the arms of the Lord. The pain of missing them is what we have to struggle with...well stated Jess and again we are so sorry for your loss!
Christy said…
Jess, you are an amazing woman of God and I know your dad and Sid are so very proud of both you and Matt. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out as I read your sweet tribute to a man who loved many and was loved by many. Our families hearts go out to all of you as you learn a new "normal" without these amazing men in your life. I love you friend.
Kelly said…
Such a sweet and beautiful post. Brought tears to my eyes.

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